A beautiful person and wonderful partner in crime, once came to me to discuss the waterfall analogy presented to her during a counselling session. Many people working in the field of mental health like to utilise this analogy.
They explained to my friend that for many of us we are on autopilot getting through the day, our mind is elsewhere on past events or future goals. This can be a dangerous place to be, especially if your mind is particularly adept at negative thinking or triggering negative events and reacting to them. We may be paddling down the river on autopilot, which unfortunately is the ideal situation for old habits to be triggered and send us flying off the edge of the waterfall. So they advise us to practice:
- Noticing
- Being present more of the time
- Look out for signs that the waterfall is coming
- Take even just a moment out for a deep breath to save yourself from going over the waterfall when you notice these signs
- Identify 5 things you can feel, see, hear, touch, even taste. This can bring you out of your thoughts and into the present.
- Hopefully giving you time to get out of your boat and take a rest on the bank.
This enables us to respond with choice rather than reacting and living in our heads. It gives us control. All of these are great and helpful, especially when practiced before we need them and when we need them. After all practice makes perfect!
My friend understood this all very well. However, her fear was still present. What if I don’t notice? What if I go over the waterfall? Will I ever notice enough?
I held her hand and asked one question:
What happens on the river after the waterfall?
She paused and thought deeply for a few minutes. Initially looking confused and then her whole body relaxed.
You see, we are often given many tools to help with our mental health and even if we practice them it doesn’t guarantee success, forever, in every situation. For anyone who has struggled with an episode or life long mental health will know the feelings of going over the edge of the waterfall.
Sometimes we stay under water with little breath and the torrent of water beats and bashes us about…. but eventually we do come up for air. May be there is a boat with a kind person there to save us, or a beautiful pool or calm Eddies for you to swim to for a rest whilst helping yourself. What beautiful positive outcome can you start to imagine for yourself after the waterfall?
Why? Because no one is perfect. Failure will happen. But lets build our thoughts, feelings and actions to have:
…the confidence to fail and the commitment to keep going. You already have the courage because you are in the boat!
Feature image photographer: Garrick Sangil
Action Architects 